just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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