You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
