6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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