He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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