If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
