Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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