Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
