I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
