Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
