If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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