I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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