He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
