I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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