I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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