I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
