you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
