Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
