How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
