HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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