I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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