I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So. Much. Porn.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
