Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
