We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
