we're blogging at a bar
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
