We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
