i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
