he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
