I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
