I molested 6 butterflies tonight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
