And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
