Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
