Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
