YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
