Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Your penis caused this!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
