she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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