think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My life is pants optional.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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