Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
