Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
