I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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