some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
