Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
