"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
