Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She's JV to your varsity
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
