i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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