I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
