i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
