I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
