Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
