"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
