Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
