Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
