woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
