I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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