That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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