I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
