Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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