That's intense
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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